babies – can’t trust them

Got my nose? Well give it back, punk!

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a “kid person.”  To me, all babies (except for YOURS, of course) look like the offspring of Winston Churchill and a lizard.  And they all (except YOURS) seem to emit a plethora of unpleasant sounds, odors, and substances.  My wife reminds me every once in a while, that I, too entered the world as a baby, but I am becoming more and more convinced of the impossibility of this.

Well, it seems that my antipathy towards babies has been vindicated, folks – it turns out that today’s babies could grow up to be next generation of terrorists!  According to Rep. Louie Gohmert (R, TX), those wily terrorists have been sending women to the US in order to have babies, which are then whisked back to Al Qaeda run Gymborees (complete with US citizenship) where they would be trained to wreak terroristic havoc on their (legal) return to the US in oh, 20 years and destroy our way of life.  I knew it!  I’m glad that there are courageous Americans like Rep. Gohmert who understand where the real threat to our nation lies – in cribs!

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